Hello and welcome to 2018! Hope you had a fun week doing whatever it is you’ve been doing but it’s back to the usual routine now, I suppose. Don’t be sad, it’ll be Christmas again in 356 days.
2017 was an interesting year for film, so I was wondering, if I could sum up my thoughts on each film I’d seen in the cinema that year, it might do for a blog entry, don’t you think?
I’ll go in chronological order of when I saw them and I may as well date it too, ey? So, let’s get started!
A Monster Calls – 7th January
A deep exploration of a young boy’s mind in turmoil. It was interesting to see the way the story panned out over the duration of the film and the acting from every one involved was simply top notch. Even if it did lose itself a bit in its own narrative toward the end
Rating then: 9/10
Rating now: 8/10
The Lego Batman Movie – 18th February
Fun, Lego action with everyone’s favourite overrated mental patient, Batman. A good story in its own right, as its own thing and still gets quite a few laughs out of me but I feel the very climax of the film was a bit of a let down. Hold hands to stop Gotham tearing in half? Really? It’s fine, it’s fine! It’s a kid’s film after all and there is a level of suspension of disbelief to take into consideration.
Rating then: 10/10
Rating now: 8/10
Logan – 2nd March
Hugh Jackman’s swansong (Maybe) Wolverine escapade. A dark, gritty and realistic portrayal of the final days of the mutants. Logan is one of those films that people will be talking about for a long time – and it earned that recognition. Some say it’s bad, some say it’s a masterpiece. I’m in the middle. It’s a really well made film, but it was too drastic a change from the X-Men franchise. Personal opinion, don’t torture me. Seeing the Charles Xavier in the silo having gone mad at the start hurt my childhood though.
Rating then: 9/10
Rating now: 7/10
The Great Wall – 7th March
One of those whitewashed films that was doomed to fail. It was alright I guess. Nothing to write home about, but fun enough to watch if you just want to switch off for a couple of hours and watch some urban historic fantasy.
Rating then: 6/10
Rating now: 6/10
Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol 2 – 29th April
The Guardians of the Galaxy return in my most anticipated sequel of the year, and proved to be ever so slightly disappointing. It was great and I loved it, but the first one is still my preferred venture. I think splitting the team up for so long is to blame for my preference of the first, but I enjoyed the two intertwining stories told throughout and Ego is by far easily one of the best villains of the Marvel Cinematic Universe so far. Can’t wait for Infinity War though.
Rating then: 8/10
Rating now: 8/10
Wonder Woman – 11th June
With the advent of the Justice League monstricity, Wonder Woman stands as a beaming light of what a DC film could be. By no means the best film of the year but definitely earned a spot in the top 5 of a lot of fans’ lists. The trench scene alone perfectly captures Wonder Woman and showed an audience how little modern superhero films focus on actually actively going out of the way to save people.
Rating then: 9/10
Rating now: 8/10
Spider-Man: Homecoming – 8th July & 11th July
Saw this film twice, actually. Easily the nest of the three MCU films to be released in 2017 as it once again focused on the littler stories. No world-ending disaster plot or subjugation for all mankind. First time I went to see it the cinema ticket cut of “Spi” and “Home” so on the ticket it looked like I was going to see Der-Man Coming. It has been referred to by that name ever since.
Rating then: 8/10
Rating now: 8/10
Kingsman: The Golden Circle – 23rd September
Elton John. Enough said. What a great adventure from start to finish. It was funny, sad and engaging all at the same time. Though the start was a little too trigger happy with established characters in order to shoehorn in the American version. Elton John though.
Rating then: 8/10
Rating now: Not out on DVD yet so would be unfair to judge *Sad face*
Thor: Ragnarok – 28th October
The weakest of the three MCU films this year, for me. It was great fun and I enjoyed every minute of it… But as a trilogy the tone and pacing of this one doesn’t match Thor or Thor: The Dark World in any way whatsoever. I get it was trying to be its own thing but at the expense of everything to happen prior to Ragnarok?
Rating then: 8/10
Rating now: *Patiently awaits DVD release whilst listening to Led Zeppelin*
Pokémon the Movie: I Choose You – 6th November
Pure untainted nostalgia and a treat for the soul. After 14 years of not being in the cinema Ash & Pikachu exploded back onto the silver screen in marvellous fashion. I already did a review of this film which I’ll attempt to link in here but yeah, I really loved this one.
Rating then: 7/10
Rating now: I keep checking Amazon every week for a DVD release date but it never has one. This makes me sad.
Justice League – 19th November
From sheer nostalgic beauty to tainted nostalgic dread. This is another film I reviewed at the time of release but I will never stop hating this filth. As a film, it was stupid, as a comic book story, it was badly done, as a superhero film it was insulting and there are no redeeming qualities in this thing whatsoever. Avoid at all costs. Linking the review in if possible here.
Rating then: 2/10
Rating now: Negative 2/10. Not wasting any more time or money on it.
The Disaster Artist – 9th December
Oh hi Mark. An interesting look into the filming process of one of cinemas greatest duds – The Room. It was light and entertaining, silly and serious, and had the ever loveable Tommy Wiseau in the end credits. It makes me so happy, and I love Lisa so much.
Rating then: 8/10
Rating now: It’s bullshit, I don’t have it yet. It’s bullshit. It is not! Oh hi Mark.
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle – 9th December
So what happens if you put Jack Black, Dwayne Johnson, Karen Gillan and Kevin Hart in a game of Jumanji? A lot of controversy and needless hate. I liked this film. It wasn’t perfect but give me it over a lot of other films *Cough*JusticeLeague*Cough* any day. While not every joke hit the mark it got a few laughs out of myself and the people I was seeing it with (One a die-hard cynic of the thing) and all in all it was a bit of harmless fun.
Rating then: 7/10
Rating now: You know the drill by this point.
Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi – 16th December
Following on from the Force Awakens a lot was expected to be revealed in this installment of the Star Wars saga. In the end not a lot was actually revealed and the film suffered from existing in the Star Wars universe. Had it been its own one-off film, yeah, it could have worked, but as Episode VIII of a 9-part saga… It left a lot to be desired. It wasn’t all bad though. Mark Hamill gave the performance of his career and it was interesting to see Rey & Kylo Ren’s relationship grow throughout the film.
Rating then: 8/10
Rating now: Blu-Ray. Surprise! Nah, I’ll be getting the DVD… Whenever that comes out.
Caught up in the now. It’s interesting looking back at the films you saw over the space of a year. Almost all of them [NOT YOU JUSTICE LEAGUE] were good and I don’t regret seeing any of them. Barring the black sheep of the universe. There were of course some films I had wanted to see but never had the opportunity for one reason or another – Murder on the Orient Express, Blade Runner 2049, It, War for the Planet of the Apes etc but nothing to be done about that now.
As for 2018 there are a few films I’m looking forward to seeing. Avengers: Infinity War, The Incredibles 2, Black Panther to name a few but others I’m slightly dubious about… Looking at you Solo: A Star Wars Story. I suppose there’s one way to find out though, ey?
Thank you for following my posts in 2017, next year will continue on as usual, posting on Wednesdays with reviews, look-backs, top 10s or whatever takes my fancy during the week. Should probably get around to finishing my reviews of the David Tennant Doctor Who Big Finish audio stories though.
Hoping you had a Qwark-tastic new year and are settling into the first year with an 8 in it since 2008.
Forewarning, probably going to have spoilers in this, so if you really want to see the film, go ahead, but I honestly wouldn’t waste your time.
The “Justice League” we’re stuck with for the foreseeable future.
DC holds a really special place in my heart. The stories, the characters, the world(s) that make up the DC Universe are important, and a major player in the comic book industry. DC make some great TV shows like Legends of Tomorrow, Smallville & the entire DC Animated Universe, but their fortunes don’t run so well when adapted to the silver screen. In recent years DC films have bombed critically and it’s not hard to see why. Be it chasing the success of rival company, Marvel’s, cinematic growth to the nth degree or just making bad decisions on story or characters. There’s a wealth of lore and stories to tell in the DC universe’s long history, so why are the films failing to badly? The answer to that can be summed up in three simple words.
Batman versus Superman.
Moreover what the words means for the universe. In the comics, Batman and Superman have been allies since the Silver Age and whilst there have been conflicts over those following decades, none of them have been particularly jaw dropping. So to base the foundation of an entire cinematic universe on a plot idea as uninspiring as the concept of Batman and Superman punching one another for a few minutes is frankly preposterous. Going on from that it can only get worse – at least without some major effort into making it watchable is applied (Thank you Patty Jenkins).
2016 is where it belongs though, the dark recesses of the past so now we look forward to Justice League! The major motion picture we’ve eagerly awaited since we discovered that Zack Snyder planned to use Man of Steel as the kick off to the DC Extended Universe (said no one who actually saw the result of that decision).
That’s right, the Justice League film came out on Friday 17th November 2017 and it’s no secret the reviews have been less than stellar so far.
I purposefully stayed away from reviews of this film including any specific details so that I could give this film a fair try. I had zero hopes for it, but I was willing to give it the benefit of the doubt and surprise me. I owe the DC pantheon of characters that much at the very least. A Justice League film is something generations of comic fans have wanted for decades and we finally got one. I couldn’t get to see the film until two days later so on Sunday 19th November 2017 my friends and I (Affectionately dubbed “the Suicidal Squad” in honour of the quality and respect of DC’s most decent bomb (Because Wonder Woman didn’t make us want to rip our eyes out) headed out to our cinema of course and took our seats in a surprisingly empty cinema screen for what promised to be an interesting visit.
Justice League – The movie we don’t deserve, but the one we’re stuck with right now.
Admittedly, the first 20 minutes or so were tolerable. They weren’t excellent, nor were they terrible, they were just… There. Setting up the characters was a tad rushed but that was to be expected considering 97% of the characters in the film were being introduced for the first time properly in the space of 120 minutes. Almost as if they should have put more effort into establishing who the characters were and not rely on general audiences to just know who they are. This became a recurring niggle I had with the film. When it was over I challenged some of my friends to tell me personality traits of the Flash, Aquaman and Cyborg and they struggled outside of generalised stereotypical responses. These were heroes we had no idea about, and that immediately soils any emotional connection you could have with any of them right from the get-go.
Aquaman has long hair and lives in the water so he must be a surfer, duuude. Also, one of the first things he does in this film is throw a bottle in the ocean. Aquaman pollutes the ocean. Let that sink in.
The Flash can’t have any friends because he has super powers and no one can ever lead a double life in a comic book franchise.
Cyborg is a robot, physically, mentally and that is not a good thing.
Batman becomes DC’s biggest moron for no actual reason.
Wonder Woman is female, so she MUST be a maternal figure, there’s no negotiating that. Women HAVE to be the maternal figures of any group.
Superman is… *Sigh* Superman is there because Justice League. He has even less involvement in this than he did in Batman v Superman and that is saying something.
Great League, guys, really thought it through.
So the story, if you’ll call it that, of this film is Steppenwolf, who is an alien who wants to make Earth like his own planet (Man of Steel, anyone?) for no particular reason outside of for the sake of conflict. How does he manage to achieve this? Well, remember how in Avengers we had the blue cube thing opening portals up into the sky so that an alien one-shot-one-kill race could fly out into the sky and take over the world? Yeah it’s basically that but with Parademons (Which are never properly explained) and three, count them, THREE cubes this time. Gripping original storytelling right there.
As a side note, I’ve only encountered Steppenwolf once in the comics and that was in the New 52’s Earth 2 run which was decent but without my knowledge of it from that series I’d have had no idea who Steppenwolf is, what his whole deal is, or his connection to Darkseid who’s involvement in this film is literally an easy to miss name drop. Excellent use of world building there – well done. Really sucks you into the lore, am I right?
So Steppenwolf goes around Earth trying to collect the Motherboxes – the three Tesseracts of this film – one guarded by the Amazons, one guarded by the Atlantians and one in possession of Victor Stone’s father. How did that happen? Never explained, of course! The Amazons lead an attack against Steppenwolf but he takes down the entire batallion without even flinching and makes off with the first Motherbox. He then goes to Atlantis where Mera has a glorified cameo before he wrecks her and Aquaman with little to no resistance whatsoever. Second Motherbox obtained. Yey.
It’s at this point Batman unites the League and he, Cyborg, Flash & Aquaman decide to resurrect Superman for the lols. Wonder Woman protests but they end up doing it anyway. This is where the film truly lost me, irreversibly. The method of bringing Superman back to life was absolutely ridiculous. It’s almost the exact same way Lex Luthor created “Doomsday” [Nuclear Man] in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. Remember the ship that crashed in Metropolis nearly 4 and a half years ago? It’s still there. Why? Never explained. Put Clark in the Kryptonian birthing water, charge it up, hope for the best but this time use the Motherbox and a picture of Jonathan Kent to bring him back to life. Someone at Warner Bros is probably going to say that it was because Lex put blood into the fluid which caused the Doomsday mutation but that is frankly a lie as it’s never explained that it was that which caused the mutation. So Superman is back, and in glorious technicolour! He flies off into Metropolis and sees that his monument that was smashed up in Batman v Superman is still smashed up, his statue’s head is till lying on the ground next to the plinth – why!? Someone would have cleared that up by now and it would be getting restored.
It was at this moment I noticed Clark was somehow, without explination, shirtless in this scene. In the scene before his body had been wearing a rather fancy looking blue suit but now it’s nowhere to be seen. Over sexualisation of men, anyone? Haven’t seen many arguments about that yet. Film specifically went out of its way to make that happen, so where’s the outrage for equality? But anyway-
Superman, understandably, is a bit out of it so when the League all approach him in a defensive formation telling each other not to attack him, that’s not a red flag at all is it? They try to reason with him but from out of nowhere Cyborg’s body forces him to shoot Superman, why? You know the answer by now. Obviously this peeves the boy scout a bit and he goes on to begin attacking them. This is the point the film lost all credibility for me. Superman sees Batman, asks if he bleeds, echoing Batman’s comment in their previous misadventure, establishing that he sees the Batman as a villain and punches him. In the face. Knocks him back, flies a few feet away. Wait for it… Isn’t immediately dead. Superman punched Batman full force in the face and Batman struggled it off. Are you kidding me? Bruce Wayne would be a puddle. He didn’t have any prep time for it either so you can’t argue that.
Of course, whilst all this has been going on Steppenwolf has casually strolled in and picked up the last Motherbox without any of them realising and strolled off again. Our indomitable heroes, everyone. *Slow clap*
So Scooby and the gang all manage to figure out Steppenwolf is planning on using the cubes in a small nameless town in an unidentfied place we’re lead to assume is a small village in Germany. Why? You guessed correctly, never explained. Was it a significant place on the world to operate your takeover from? Does it have any kind of importance to the Motherboxes? Nope, it’s just there. I suppose at this point I should explore the civilian subplot so we know who we’re going to be saving with the League in the 3rd act. Near the start we’re introduced to a nameless family who are sitting eating a family meal in their hom in what seems like a deserted village. The Parademons begin attacking and we cut away. Half an hour later we see the family have boarded the windows and doors and the father is loading a gun to shoot any Parademons that manage to get in. In the 3rd act, when the “Justice League” turn up the family decides to suddenly leave for the sake of added drama and start driving away from the chaos. Flash races to them to help them get away in a few minutes later Superman catches up to him when he is running, challenging him to a race afterward. Surely in the act of Superman catching up to Flash is proof enough that he is faster. I don’t understand why that was a thing.
Anyway, the “Justice League” who are never actually called that throughout the duration of the film, make their way to unidentified potentially German ghost town and engage in Steppenwolf and his legion of Parademons. A majority of the final battle is Wonder Woman v Steppenwolf with Cyborg & Superman seperating the cubes, Batman & Aquaman fighting Parademons and the Flash running around trying to look like he’s actually doing something until Batman tells him to get his shit together and save the unidentified random family we’ve been following throughout the film. If you’d taken out the Parademons from the battle it’d have been over in an instant as Wonder Woman on her own was defeating him – despite an entire legion of Amazon warriors going down like flies in the first act.
Now’s a good time to discuss Steppenwolf. Who is he? Where is he from? What exactly was his goal? None of these questions are adequately answered, if answered at all, and we’re supposed to be opposed to him just because the film needs a villain and Hippalita says he’s a bad guy at the start of the film. The League figure out his plan exactly purely through complete guess work. Educated guesses perhaps, but guesses all the same. I don’t think any more than 5 lines were exchanged between him and the “League” throughout the course of the film. Asd for his abilities, inconstatant is the word of the day. When he attacks Themyscara he carves down the Amazons like paper in a furnace. When he attacks Atlantis Aquaman and Mera barely make it out of there alive and only do so because Steppenwolf gets the Motherbox. Then in the final conflict he can’t take out a lone Amazon, a clumsy kid who runs quickly, a robot literally standing there ready to be picked off at any moment and an idiot in a bat costume whilst backed up by an entire army of Parademons. Superman turns out but doesn’t really help much anyway, so as I said, there’s actually no point in him being in this film.
So in the end Superman uses his freeze breath to freeze Steppenwolf’s axe and then Wonder Woman hits it with her sword and it shatters. This immeditaly makes Steppenwolf quake in his little boots because how he doesn’t have a pointy object to throw around and the Parademons sense his fear. The Parademons then begin attacking him as he screams and the League make a terrible one-liner in his general direction. He gets beamed off the planet but his helmet falls to the ground. Does this mean he’s dead? Or did he just drop his helmet? Why did every Parademon end up in the portal as well when there were some miles away chasing the unidentified family? Who knows… and at this point who cares?
So then we get our hero pose. Everyone will look back at this moment in the future and have it as a desktop wallpaper forever more. Except… Flash is looking at Cyborg as if he’s a long-lost lover. He’s not looking at where the rest of the “League” are, so it ruins the image for the sake of a fist-pump subplot running between him and Cyborg. Why?
So after that we see Bruce & Alfred walking through the abandoned Wayne Manor discussing plans to make it into the Hall of Justice. Yeah, that’ll definitely keep your identity hidden, Bruce. Turning your parents house into the base of the Justice League. Clever. And then it just kind of fizzles out into nothing… The world is saved, but there was never any actual sense of danger to begin with because the plot was so badly explained and realised you just didn’t feel anything for it, the characters or anything you were seeing.
Post credit scene #1 had Flash talking tough to Superman about how he’ll beat him in a race, even though we know Superman is faster at this point, and they begin racing and it cuts out immediately, because why actually show the Flash get it handed to him? Even though Flash is faster than him in the comics. Post credi scene #2 features “Lex Luthor” on a yacght with Slade setting up either the Injustice League or the Legion of Doom which is all fine and good BUT a Flashpoint film has been confirmed. So what is the point of beginning to set up the Legion of Doom if you’re going to erase it from your universe shortly afterward? If it’;s before, then why are they still making these plans? It’s a different reality after Flashpoint, you can’t carry over plots from then to now and let them be a thing.
As a special note, let’s look at the music. The classic Linda Carter Wonder Woman these plays at the beginning of the film when Wonder Woman is saving people from bank robbers. Orchestral, not the full on “Wonder Womaaaaaan!” lyrics. That’s all fine and good and was a nice nod to the legacy of the character. Superman’s classic Christopher Reeve era theme plays as he savagely beats down the rest of the League, because that’s fitting. Finally, Batman’s 1989 theme plays during the third act, which doesn’t really fit the overall tone of the scene and distracts you from it, I mean – more than the indecipherable quick-cut action scenes do.
My thoughts on Justice League were mixed at the start, but then paved way for unrelenting distaste for what I was seeing. The characters were flat, 2D caricatures of what they should have been, the villain was a joke, the pacing was abominable, I didn’t care about the family, or the ghost town they seemed to live in. Batman surviving a full blown punch from Superman without even as much as a flinch was an abomination, the plot was barely existent and what there was of it was a beefed up, worse version of the plot of the first Avengers film. Story by Joss Wheadon? I can tell, and I’m very disappointed in that man for allowing this to happen the way it did.
Undoubtedly within the next few weeks we’ll get an announcement of an extended edition of this film but I won’t be purchasing it. My reasoning for this is Man of Steel and Wonder Woman don’t have extended versions, so why should Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Suicide Squad or Justice League require them? Don’t give the studio more money and encourage them to deliver half-made films to the theatres, because that is one of the reasons cinemas are dying out. The reason no one seems to acknowledge because piracy is easier to pin the blame on.
The first 20 minutes of this film admittedly had me wanting to see where it was going with this film, but everything after that was a gradual slide into disparity I hope DC never present to us again, but who am I kidding? It’s because of this that Justice League (2017) gets an overall rating of 2/10 from me. Better than Batman v Superman, but only marginally.
The best course of action for DC would be to end this extended universe right now and start again, making sure not to fall into the pit trap of trying to do so much in so little time it just becomes a mess. The MCU works so well because we’re introduced to the majority of their pantheon slowly and deliberately. Not in a 5 minute long scene of 20 second video clips on a laptop at the and of act 2. Don’t rush it, DC, your fans want to see you succeed and we frankly deserve better than this. Rushing it just makes it disjointed and unfocused. We deserve better, the Justice League deserve it more.
The Spectacled Observer 